Friday, December 30, 2011

Merry Christmas

heyya, bloggiee.. sorry for not posting recently..
i had to deal with my college and work things first..
yes, it's hectic and i'm bored with it..
i'm so in holiday mood now..
don't want to touch my homeworksss.. seriously, homeworkSSSS.. plural.. a lot.. :|
okay, i'm not writing this for complaining.. i really need to stop myself to complain about almost everything.. haha..
just want to share some pics about my Christmas eve and Christmas day..
i had a good time during this December :)
i love the reindeer's horn XD

gift exchange :D

i am enjoying my first day of holiday.. had a super good time.. <3
can i have this kind of day everyday?
u'll let me suffer for another four months again, huh? :p
anyway, merry christmas everyone!! :D


Jowi ;)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

yes, dear, i heart u so much that even myself couldn't explain it why
it's just missing u too much that even forever with you won't be enough
i heart u for all the things you are
even tough i'm like riding roller coaster with you
but i'm grateful to have u in my life :)



Monday, December 5, 2011


yess.. time's ticking, people change, i change, you change, the world does change..
moving to be a more mature person, trying to see things from different points of view..
yes, this is me.. enjoying my life.. even though i feel that something is missing..
oh gosh, this feeling is just so indescribable.. :|

i don't want to think about these stuffs anymore..
head is gonna explode soon..

sorry for the random post because this is the only place that i can be myself..



Friday, November 25, 2011


hey hey hey!!!
finalllyyy i'm backkk!! thanks to the 'abang' that fixed my speedy connection.. XD
gottaa share some news..
first, i changed my appearance.. i dyed my hair!!
felt a little bit nervous when i did that, i was afraid that the result wouldn't be good.. buttt... thanks God, the result is perfect.. love it so MUCH!!
wanna take a peek? XD

yeess.. even i spent quite a lot for that.. around 300k.. but worth it!!
plan to perm it also.. but will cost me a lot of money again..
i should save money for my Bellagio.... ;D

oh and BTW.. today's teacher's day.. a day for me and my fellow teachers..
i got a loooooooooooootttttttttttt of chocolatess.... kyaaa!!!! i also got one tupperware and it's toblerone inside.. XD
i'm so happyy.. 
yesss... u will think that it's quite childish to be happy for such things...
but i'm kinda enjoy teaching.. even sometimes i feel so stressed and tired... but those stress and tired feelings will be repay if your students love u..
the feeling of being loved by those innocent children.. :D
:D :D :D
 thanks for the presents, students.. Miss is happy.. hahaha.. :D

another one, it's almost end of year, holiday is coming soonnnn..
loved one will be back soonn.. XD
my cousin will come back tomorrowww...
gonna watch Breaking Dawn tomorrooww.. *wish this one could come true*
and the greatest is.... tomorrow is Saturday!! love Saturday so muchhh.. *dance2*

okay, gotta go.. hope nobody will ruin my super good feeling today..


Jowi XD

Friday, November 11, 2011


well, today is quite a rare date, huh?
spare some time to post something on this unique date.. XD
i suppose to feel happy today..
i don't have class for my college today.. and the fact that today is Friday suppose to make me happy..
but, the thing that come out is mixed feeling..
i am not feeling really well, cough and flu attack me one more time..
the only thing that i need is just some privacy..
i don't know where to find even a bit privacy in this house..
i desperately need a room for myself..
i don't even know what to do when i'm feeling blue like this..
i just want to cry out loud.. but i can do nothing..
i just need to boost my mood up, but the fact that happened is my mood even getting worse..
nobody understand, nobody care. . .

well, 11.11.11 isn't a good day for me..



Thursday, November 10, 2011

A thousand years

 A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
Watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
Standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

PS : I've loved you for a thousand years and I'll love you for a thousand more.. Je t'aime.. :)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

getting better?

i've been suffering from fever for these few days.. killing, of course.. couldn't sleep well.. keep coughing..
my body's temperature is like playing roller coaster with me.. up down up down..
finally i could take a bath and wash my super oily hair today, feel so relieved, but i don't know will my fever come back to me or not.. hope not.. i'm sick of being sick.. i've been absent from work for two days also.. it's not nice to ask for permission from your boss.. :|

well.. think i'm better off now..
just wish that i could get even better tomorrow.. *sigh*



Thursday, November 3, 2011


heyya, readerss...
i'm dying here.. i almost get fever yet i'm still typing this blog.. haha..
life's been too hectic.. :(
i've drunk 3L of water today, a bottle of pocari sweat, many pills for my throat..
i don't know why i am so weak lately.. :(
i'm wearing my super thick and long pajamas and i still feel cold..
seriously, i'm dying..
i'm looking for my real 'medicine'... where are you ha?
i'm seriously dying of sickness and dying of missing u too..:'(


Jowi :(

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Who am I?

heyyaa, readers...
sorry for not updating these few weeks..
been busy with all stupid assignments..
sometimes, i don't understand, why should i study this hard and why should i work that hard to live this world?
it's not i'm giving up with my life..
i just don't understand myself..
what do i want actually?
did i choose and decide the right things for myself?
can i stand longer?
work and study at the same time.. -__-
i'm tired..
i have been sick for two or three times since I started my college..
i can't imagine what will happen when exam time comes..
maybe i'll just go die and hang myself..
can i just quit?
but some part of me enjoy the life of college, what should i do?
this random feeling keep coming.. haunting me.. -___-
oh God... lead me lead me.. need to find the desire in me soon..


Tired Me, Jowi :|  

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Saturday, October 1, 2011


heyya, readers.. sorry for the not updating my blog these few days..
too tired just to sit in front of my PC..
actually, finally i had my own lappie, yeahh, even it's not the new one, but still it's super useful..
i just need a new webcam and a new mouseee... huff.. another expenses...

okay, this is satnite, i spent it by washing a ton of dishes and a horrible mood..
seems like this is the 'best' satnite ever, huh?

okay, i'm in no mood to type anymore, readers..
see ya in my next post..



Wednesday, September 28, 2011


heyyaaa, readersss..... time flies, huh?
It's Wednesday... tomorrow is Thursday... almost payday.. *dance*
okay, ignore that part... it's not important.. haha..
eerrrgghhh.. seems like my salary is really not enough for me...
why do i  love to spent my money so much?? huhuhu..
yes, can't control myself...
blame myself for that.. :(

i have a lot lot lot of desiressss...
i want to dye my hair.... *this is super serious*
i want to buy clothes, shoes, accessories...
i want to eat japanese food..
i want to buy a lot of novels..
i want to shop as much as i can..
i want this i want that..
oh geezz.. if i list those all, maybe 5 pages won't be enough..

but still, my biggest desire is U, my loved one...
miss u badly.. don't u miss me? :')

okay, gotta runn... will be updated again tomorrow.. :)



Friday, September 23, 2011

long distance

There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do
To get you off my mind

All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm coming home soon,coming home soon

~Long Distance - Bruno Mars~

it's like killing myself for posting something like this at this risky hour..

officially missing u.. :)


Jowi :) 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Life has been so hard lately

yes.. life has been so hard lately.. i'm dying inside.. everything have been so hard..
it's even harder when u have to keep it for yourself..
it hurts so bad.. being unwanted..
u told me that it's tired to talk to me..
no need then..
u'll never understand me..
neither will i understand u..

i want to escape.. anywhere but here..
from this place called "home"

maybe ppl will say that i'm thinking too much..
maybe ppl will say that i'm over-reacting..
it's just too complicated..

i try to be grateful..
i try to make myself happy..
it didn't work..

i'm just too tired of everything..
maybe silence is the best way out of all..
i give up..



Monday, September 12, 2011


"I love you," he whispered, and that was the moment he knew what he was going to do. 
When you loved someone, you put their needs before your own. 
No matter how inconceivable those needs were; 
no matter how fucked up; 
no matter how much it made you feel like you were ripping yourself into pieces.

~Jodi Picoult 

for someone out there, just want to tell u that i love u so much.. :)


Jowi <3

Saturday, September 10, 2011

swing swing

i am really proud yet confuse of myself..
i have the most wonderful swinging mood..
it will change only because of some stupid songs and it can make me cry suddenly..
it's crazy, isn't it...?
but.....nobody will notice this for i am really good at covering my pain... :)


Moody Jowi

Thanks God I'm Still Alive

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.............. tireddd!!!!
since 3 pm, i've been sitting down at kitchen, washing the dishes, and then i have to clean about 200 piecesss of prawn *made me smelled like seafood* and then i had to wash another dishes again..
i took a bath, and i washed two pieces of my shirt and i had my dinner, washed dishes *again*
and then i helped my mom to prepare for tomorrow things... and washed dishes *again and again*
how many times did i mention "washed dishes" ??
i pity my hands... it's not smooth anymore.. huhuhuhuhu.. hiks hiks hiks..
and now my waist is aching badly..
i really need a maid.. *help*

oh yes, and now i'm trained to wash dishes, wash clothes, iron clothes, sweep the floor, mop the floor... *i should be thankful eh*

haaa!!!!!!! monday i will start my college and i don't know how to face it.. not yet ready...
i'm not yet ready for the tiredness..
i will wake up at 6.15, take a bath, have breakfast, go at 6.45, arrive at 7.30, teach from 8 to 10 and then teach from 10.45 to 12.15, have lunch, make lesson plans, teach from 2.15 to 3.45, take care for the children until 4.15, go to college at 4.30, arrive there maybe at 5, rush to the announcement board to check the classes and the schedules, start class at 5.15 until 6.45, skip dinner *i believe i will not have appetite to eat*, second class at 7.15 until 8.45, go home, take a bath, sleep, die, bye..

can i really just get married and skip all these things?? *desperate thinking* *sigh*
tired... tired.. tired...
but thanks God i'm still alive even i have to face all of those thingss.. maybe this is what we called life..


Jowi :|


Wednesday, September 7, 2011


ha!! am i too kind or i'm not strict enough? *i think i'm not strict at all*
yes, i spoil my students.. seldom scold them.. haha...
maybe that's why they're not afraid with me at all..
i don't know why, today, i had this feeling.. strange feeling.. but it's positive feeling..*makes me happy*
i don't know how to express it.. the feeling when u're loved by your students.. that feeling.. XD
i love children.. *so much* but only the cute and good one.. haha..
is this really my destiny?? to become a teacher?? not sure yet.. hhmmm..
let's just see what will happen in...mmm... 5 years later maybe... still wondering what i will be in the future..
it's still a long journey to go... ;)


Jowi :D

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Rest Of My Life

i love this song very much..
just wish someday, someone, would sing this song for me.. :)

Everyday I wake up next to an angel
More beautiful than words could say
They said it wouldn't work but what did they know?
Cause years passed and we're still here today
Never in my dreams did I think that this would happen to me

As I stand here before my woman
I can't fight back the tears in my eyes
Oh how could I be so lucky
I must've done something right
And I promise to love her for the rest of my life

Seems like yesterday when she first said hello
Funny how time flies when you're in love
It took us a lifetime to find each other
It was worth the wait cause I finally found the one
Never in my dreams did I think that this would happen to me

As I stand here before my woman
I can't fight back the tears in my eyes
Oh how could I be so lucky
I must've done something right
And I promise to love her for the rest of my life

Bruno Mars - Rest Of My Life

What life is this?

heyyaaa, readers...
this is my second day of working after a spentfulllll week holiday.. *is it any meaning for spentful?*
but i really mean it.. SPENTFUL.. i don't want to count how much i have spent for this bloody holiday...
i went to brastagi with Eric CS, for his farewell.. okay, it's the most "galau" day.. seeing couples everywhere..
oh Jesus Christ...i never know having a LDR would be super killing like this.. *sigh*
and then, i went to karaoke and hung out at Matador with Eric also.. that day, i cried a lot.. because Eric would leave the next day... when they recalled memories and everything, i just couldn't stand it.. pluss.. Eric's face when he cried, nobody would stand that..
at first, i didn't plan to cry, but Eric started it first.. since we were inside Matador, so i cried a little bit *without any stupid sound* haha
but... when we were going home, and we were outside of that Matador, he started to cry and hug all of us..
that's the moment when i burst my tears out loud.. so sad.. huks..
so, the next day, early in the morning, we sent Eric to airport.. i didn't plan to cry.. but, the fact is... i cried... again.. haha..
and in the afternoon, i got a sudden BBM from virgo.. he asked me out with Angel and HJ.. yes.. which meanss.. spent money.. again.. a lot..
the next day after that, i went to watch fast 5 with Suryady and Randy.. had a great day though...
even i couldn't imagine how much money have i spent.. -____-
actually i plan to save more money... i have a lot of things i want to buy.. but cannot.. huhuhu..

yesterday, i cried *again*
i don't know why, but every Monday i have super terrible mood..
seems like every Monday i cry.. -_____-
not every Monday, even everyday i have bad mood..
and recently i cried a lot..
yess, i know, stupid and pity..
but that can make me feel better..

i'm so sensitive lately..
i hate myself for being like this..
do u know how it feels when u're super tired after doing most of the household chores and yet u're being scolded all the time..
what do they want actually?
i try to be a good child for them.. but seems like everything i have done is not good enough..
my feeling hurt the most when they scolded me about Ethan..
they say they would give my lovely Ethan to somebody else..
i really can't stand those words..
i couldn't imagine what will happen to me if i lose Ethan..
he's the cutest thing on earth i've ever had..
i just love him very much..

oh yes.. for another him..
i love u so much and i desperately missing u..
good luck for your quiz..
seems like u're super busy, ha? :p
i watched a movie last night and i found this quote which is so me.. XD
"Life without him will be unimaginable" *this is so trueeeeeeeeee!!!*

okay, i think it's enough for my long long unimportant post..
will update later if i have time.. ;)


Jowi :D :) :| :( :'(

Saturday, August 27, 2011

I'm moving on

heyya, readers..
i've just come back from my very first trip with my different fellas..
yeahh.. it's fun..
even it's kinda touching moment..
it's a surprise and maybe we can say last gathering with Sir Hans..
he's going to quit.. and Ms. Cath will be our new AC..
actually, i feel grateful to be there.. i'm learning, socializing, and earning money of course.. haha..
all of my fellas there are great and nice..
i spent most of my time there, it's like my second house.. hehe..
i'm moving on..
yes, i got new friends and new environment... but still missing u and missing Quest.. :D

okay, actually id like to write something about my feelings, but i don't know how to arrange the exact words, maybe i'll just keep it to myself.. it's not a good one to be remembered and to be posted in this blog..
let's just see, will tonight be my second night? :)



Monday, August 22, 2011

Be Strong

okay, i don't know why, every Monday i will have bad mood..
and it will messed up my night.. just exactly like today..
i've planned everything inside my head, but seems like it's not destinied to be done yet..
yes, i love to dream.. eventhough i know it won't happen..
but can't i dream for my own happiness??
yes, i also ppl may not live in dreams..
ppl have to face reality..
but i hate reality...
sorry for not being grateful enough in my life..
sorry for complaining about everything..
okay, i'm moodless now.. just ignore this post.. *sigh*
i don't know even know why i am typing this pointless post..
can't find back my mood.. can't find back my happiness.. can't think of anything that makes me happy..
i wonder how long can i hold back these tears..
i know i'm weird, being moodless without any reason..
and i think i've lost my mind..
maybe this is the time that i feel stressed enough about everything..
keep telling myself, be strong, jo..
but i can't..
this is the fragile me..




Wednesday, August 17, 2011

lazy holiday

heeeyyyaaa, readersss...
uugghhh... today is holiday... and i have to admit that i am super duper lazy...
i woke up at 12 pm *this is too late*
then i had my brunch, bathed Ethan, cleaned myself up, then i went to Gramed to buy a novel and a comic..
it wasted my money actually, but shopping makes me happy.. haha..
this is a little way to enjoy my ordinary life.. XD
then i slept again... zzzzz... and i woke up at 7 pm to have my dinner...
and now i am staring at the computer screen and typing this unimportant post.. :p


Lazy Jowi ;p

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


hmmm... tomorrow is Indonesia's Independence Day.. quite excited because it's holiday...
but... i'm thinking what should i do to kill the time tomorrow.. should do another thing beside onlining and sleeping... hhmmmm...

oh yes, and i'm thinking a lot about another things too..
yesterday, i read my e-diary.. mixed up feelings.. funny, happy, sad, sweet, bitter.. everything is there...
reading that makes me realize that how much i love u that time.. and stillllll loving u until noww.. :)
it's really effective to refresh my memories..
yes, i know it's a stupid thing to do in the middle of the night..
i cried... and it made me tired, so i just fell asleep.. haha..
i'm really stupid, aren't i? but howww? can't help it... missing u is killing me..;)


Jowi :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

not my lucky day

*sigh* *sigh*
okayyyyy.... actually, since yesterday, i wasn't feeling well.. and, today i have to teachh..
yess.. and my level 7 students today have gotten extra power just to tease me and play..
the class was in chaos.. and yes.. AC were patrolling around third floor.. and i don't know what else to say.. :(
maybe today isn't my lucky day
*sigh* *sigh*


Jowi :(

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


yes.. tired.. i'm tired of everything.. just wanna skip and escape this life.. can I?
i'm not the one who ask to be born here..
it's not i'm not grateful enough, but, just.... tired...

Can't i have my own privacy and just some time to rest?
Working 8 to 4, arrive home at 6, yet u will keep nagging until 10..
how can i bear it?
seems like home is not really home for me..
it's suppose to be place for rest and peace inside it, isn't it?
but what is this?

yes, i should be grateful i still have a home..
and i shouldn't post something like this..

nothing is right.. everything goes wrong here..


Jowi :|

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Life Goes On

Hoho.. howdy there, readerssss?
it's quite a long time since my last post ehh..
sorry for abandoning this blog for some timess.. haha..
a lil bit busy here... and many things happened..
the sad one :(, the happy one :), the funny one :D

okayyy.. whereee to starttt... hhuuufff...
*rewind my memories* chiung chiung chiungg..

hummm humm humm..
17th of July
i had a gathering with my fellas at Swisbell... why? coz one of my besties will go outta country to studyy....
who is shee? *sound of the drum*
Carissa Clarence and me

i've known her since the first year of junior high school... we knew each other bcoz of that Mading activity and we are "temen se-RT".. since my house is very close to hers.. and then, i joined UKDC and we became closer and she sat behind me for 2 years on junior high... i've learnt a lot of things from her.. she told me to keep dreaming and believing in my dreams.. *touched* :')
anddd... according to me, she is the most creative person i've ever known.. seems like there're tons of ideas inside her brain.. haha.. XD
she is an honest and 'to the point' type of person..
Casual but still fashionable.. *love the way u dress* :)
sometimes (or maybe always) moody.. haha..
oh goshh.. how i miss chit-chatting with u.. *sob*
and i also miss going to your house.. since it almost be my second house.. haha..
yeaahh... i won't forget the night of 18th July 2011.. a warm dinner with your family and our fellas.. MEMORABLE!! :)

Okay, after 18th of July for sure i'll face 20th of July... *sigh*
that's the day that Carissa left and my cousin left... they go to the same college in Singapore...
and they are my besties who usually accompany me to go sightseeing or whatever... *sigh again*
now they have gone, feels like my social life is dragged to the bottom of the hell.. :(
and by the way, this is the pic of me and my cousin..
Jesslyn Felicia Tanita and me
Do we look alike?? XD   

i share my stories and my problems with her... and since she is not here anymore.. this blog will be the replacement to share my probs.. but it's still not nice... coz nobody will give you suggestion and advice like what she did.. *sigh*
as what i've said just now... she is my shopping besties.. eating besties.. movie bestiess... and also my fashion advisor.. haha..
Jesus Christttt..!!! who can accompany me like you used to do? *sob*
feels different heree youu knoww...

Okayyy.... finished with 20th July 2011... noww.. another farewell i have to face is the farewell of my beloved one....
25th July 2011
i had a wonderful dinner.. *i won't call it last dinner*
i hate that 'last' word..
a night that i'll treasure inside my heartttt... <3
can't tell u the details here.. just let me, u and God know it.. ;)

26th July 2011
the day of your departureeee... i didn't cryy... eventhough it's very hard to be stronggg..
yes, i also feel weird, why didn't I cry??
but still... crying won't change anything, will it, deaaarr?
but one thing i know for sure isss.... YESS!!! every second that i spent was for missing uuu....
and while i'm typing this post, my mind is thinking about youuu.. and maybe when u read this post, u'll miss me.. hah!! :p

I love you, dear.. <3

okayyyy.... after this sad and killing farewell.. i had a little journey with HJ's team.. XD
at first, we were planning to eat eel, but the plan was messed up because the eel has gone to heaven aka no more... soo... we directly change destination... from eel to...............PORK!! HAHAHA!! still remember thisss #belutbantingbabi.. nyahaha..
and then we went to Cemara to have some photoshoot, we should have some memories, right? ;)
Vero, Jojo n me :)

 oh yeah, and why we were having this trip? another one of my besties will go to spore to study...
and yes.. she is Veronica Salim... Maybe you can say that she is the first friend of mine when i first entered junior high school.. Not exactly the first, but she is the one that close to me that time.. :)

okayy.. my first impression about her when i first met her... she is kind and charming..
she is not stingyy.. love shopping so much... fashionableeee... love his brother so muchh.. XD
easy going... moody.. careless.. *she always lose her things* haha..
it's nice to be a friend of her..
yeah, although we had some issues last time because of a stupid guy *you-know-who,right?* XD
but i believe it's only some misunderstandings..
nahhh... i don't wanna talk about that anymore.. haha.. since it's a long long long time ago...
but... i want you to know that i have no regrets to be your friend.. on the contrary, i feel grateful to have u as a part of my story in my life.. :)

well.. "Friends"... some of them come and go...
but, what can i say? Life goes on, people.. all i need to do is to be strong and continuing my life.. :)
and for those who have left.. i just want u all to know that i miss u guysss.... *hugandkisses*


Jowi ;)

Monday, June 27, 2011


heyya, ppl.. this is me again sitting in front of my computer and seeing at my old pictures..
i keep wondering why did i have a haircut like that?? i didn't know what i was thinking that time.. :S

4 years agooo...
3 years ago
what bang is that? XD

2 years ago...
this is the quirkiest haircut i've ever had.. lol

a year ago

and then it's getting longer.....
(half year ago) XD

three months ago....

and noww....
this picture was taken few weeks ago... and i have cut my hair a month ago... XD

taraaaaa!! and that's me nowww.... i know it's unimportant post... hahaha...but i'm having fun posting this post.. XD
welll.. that's exactly how i look right now.. uuhhmmm.. probably someday i'll dye my hair and curl it up..
let's wait and see.. ;) 


Jowi :D

the night i don't want to remember

so, it's me here, sitting alone in front of the computer, typing this post with complicated mind and heart.. :S
still the moody me tonight.. i don't know why i am feeling like this.. i hate when i got nothing to do like this..
it makes me have time to think.. about everything.. even the trance music can't heal me.. oh geezz... >.<
and blame my playlist for playing sad song for me while i type this.. and it totally brings me down now.. :'(
i want to cry.. crying makes me feel better.. yeah, even crying makes me tired too.. and makes me sneezy..

hey, does it really true that if u laugh a lot at the daytime then u'll cry at night? :S
if it's true, well, i think i just laughed too much today.. XD

sooo.. today is my sweet sour day.. and i will remember the day, but i won't remember the night.. :)




Friday, June 24, 2011


today is the moody-est day ever!!
OMG!! i didn't know what happen to me today.. :( :) :'( :D
i think i'm going crazy.. seriously... zzzz...

oh yeah.. btw.... I miss u badly here, dear someone who i love too much..


Moody Jowi 

Saturday, June 18, 2011


I think this is just a random post coz tonigt i'm feeling so random on this saturday night..*sigh*
seriously, what do i live for???
it's just like when i find something i love, nobody is encouraging me... they're just dragging me back..
i really feel confused about this..
i know it's for my own good.. but please respect my own choice..

oh yeah, and i don't know what do i work hard for...
life is just super unfair all the time..
if i work just to pay for my college fee, then i prefer not to work at all..
if i don't work, u'll still pay for me, right, mom?
yeah, just see thenn..
i'm one hundred percent sure ur little lovely boy won't use any of his own money when he enters the college coz u'll be paying for HIM...
oh yeah, and please stop comparing me to the others.. i hate that.. like i was never good enough for u...


Jowi :'(

Monday, June 13, 2011


heyyaa there, ppl...
i'm going to die because of this boredom, ppl.. got nothing to do..
and i hate it..
it's gonna make me think of weird things which will make me emo.. *shd stop doing this*
i have nothing on my mind too, don't know what should i post.. oh geeezzz.......


Jowi >.<

Monday, June 6, 2011


i hate doing this, and i hate to face the fact that I AM COUNTING days.. and it's getting closer to lose YOU, YOU and YOU.. and it's killing me.


Jowi :(


heyya, bloggie!!
Haven't seen u in few days.. sooo.. it's because i've been busy preparing for my job interview and hanging out with my fellas..
if i have to admit it, I had superb day, bloggie.. that feeling that anybody wouldn't understand..
it's just mixed up.. we were so close and it was superbbb..
i don't know whether day like that will ever exist again..

okay, so this is about my cutie little friend, since he's leaving soon and there's this feeling that isn't ready to say goodbye.. i'll surely miss his jokes.. he's just like little brother for me... u won't stand his cuteness.. haha.. XD

okayy.. i think that's all i want to share.. it' too complicated to be written down here.. sooo.. i'll just keep the rest for myself..


Jowi ;)   

Monday, May 30, 2011

it's the day =)

hey ya, people!!! finally i could post something..
sorry for being vacuum for these several daysss.. my internet connection suckssss.. :(
so, it's me, here, sitting alone at starbucks, sipping Java Chip and blogging while waiting for him... nyehehehe.. *btw, the internet speed here is great* XD

okayy.. finally it's the day.. his birthday i mean... something i've prepared since a month ago should be great.. haha..

well, just wanna kill time, so i post something here.. haha..


Jowi ;)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Just A Kiss

"Lying here with you so close to me
It’s hard to fight these feelings
when it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile

I never open up to anyone
So hard to hold back
when I’m holding you in my arms

We don’t need to rush this
Let’s just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don’t want to mess this thing up
I don’t want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I’ve been waiting for my whole life
So baby I’m alright with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
it’ll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It’s never felt so real
No it’s never felt so right

No i don’t want to say goodnight
I know it’s time to leave but you’ll be in my dreams tonight

Let’s do this right with just a kiss goodnight
With a kiss goodnight
A kiss goodnight"

Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum
Love this song, people... ;)



Sunday, May 8, 2011

Love doesn't need a reason

"I love you... And it's not because you make me happy, not because you make me feel special, not because you're the sweetest person ever... but because i just love you.. and I don't need any reason for that"

Good quotes... :D

hey, there.. officially missing you here.. :D <3


Jowi :)


heelooo, there.. it's me againn.. XD
well well well.. i wanna tell u guys about my graduation ceremony yesterday.. :D
hhmmm.. i don't know how to describe my feeling about that.. it's just so random.. i don't know whether i should feel happy or sad..
yeeaahhh.. actually, there's some part in my heart which don't want to leave that school.. there's just too many memories there.. :'(
but... life goes on, peopleee... i know one day i'll face that ceremony, i just don't believe it come this so soon..
ohmyyyy... time really does fly... how to face thesseee alll??? :(

by the way, this is a pic of me on the ceremony yestreday...

taraaa!! i'm graduated!! :D      

 i'll miss this someday.. huhuhu..


Jowi ;)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Playful Kiss

hello, there.. it's me again, sitting in front of my compie, looks like an idiot coz i've got nothing to do.. *sigh*
sososo.. tonight i'll just share about my favourite korean movieee....

it's playful kiss.. :* :*

I love this movie so muchhh....
the story is too sweet to be true.. haha... and it has superb superb happy ending... =)
oh yeahh and Kim Hyun Joong is damn handsome too.... XD

seeee.... heart thisss... Kim Hyun Joong.. Kyaaaa!!!

peopleee, u must watch thiss!! =D


Jowi ;)


Wednesday, May 4, 2011


okeehh.. gw lagi malas ngepost pake bahasa inggris..(susah nyari vocabnya)
sooo... malem ini (atau bisa dibilang pagi ini) gw ngepostnya pake bahasa tanah air aja duueehh..

oke okehh... ga tau napa kok alay kali ya gaya nulis gw malam ne.. (masa bodoh amat)
intinyaaa... malem ne gw ngerasanya pecah tu.. istilah pecah lagi ngetrend zaman sekarang kali ya..
jujur aja nihh.. di masa2 akhir sekolah gw di senior high school, i felt NOTHING.. serius.. sumpah.. Nothing..
bukan ada maksud mau ngebandingin dan bukan bermaksud untuk menambah perpecahan.. tp di blog gw kan gw berhak nulis apa aj yg gw ngerasain yaaa...
esempe sama esema tu beda banget..
ooiyaaa.. kemaren tu gw baru ketemuan tu sama temen esempe gw, duuhh.. da lama g chit chat n ngakak barengg.. g tau ja sih.. pokoknya ad yg beda antara mereka.. i can't find any similarity between them.. is it only me feeling this way or others are feeling the same too?? hmmm...

ohh yeeahh and i miss my sgp's friends too.. unyyuuuu...

i know ga ada manusia yg diciptain sempurnaa sama Tuhann and gw juga berusaha ngetiin ketidaksempurnaan mereka... but i think my expectation is tooooooo high for them.. and sorryy, but i don't feel any unity.. (no offense, it's just how the way i feel )

and sorry buat yg ngebaca post ini dan merasa bingung soalnya post kali ni ga kronologis banget rasanya.. (lompat2 gitu) haha..
welll.. it's just the honest feeling from here........(inside my heart)

ohh weeellll.. don't wanna think too much right noww.. just enjoy my life happily.. as long as i have God, him, them and my family.. that's enough.. :)
sorry, readers, postingan kali ne jeleeqqqss.. haha.. laen kali ga lagi kok..*wink*
sorry juga kalo banyak banget kata ganti orang ketiga di postingan kali ni n buat yg baca pusing tujuh keliling.. XD


Jowi ;)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I just finished watching this "Strangers,again" video..
uummm.. nothing special about the video, but i think it's so realistic..
it's true that in a relationship we are given options..
"Breaking up or end up with a marriage" *hey,that's so true!*
so, it just made me wondering what will be the end of mine? *thinking*
i believe everyone wish for a happy ending.. but, who knows? things could change, so do people..

"Breaking Up" <<< These words never crossed my mind...
i couldn't imagine me without him..
i don't understand why i love him so much.. *he should read this.. haha.. XD*
i don't think i will pick this option....
soo... let's just wait and see what the future brings.. ;)

*okay, this is soooooooo random.. i don't even know why i could write this kind of things..*





Monday, May 2, 2011

The last?

Hi, there... it's been a long time since my last post.. hihihi..
i've been busy rehearsing.. it's tired, but it's fun though.. i enjoyed every second i spent with my fellas coz it was the last performance with UKDC.. Ugggh.. i hate the "last" word... >.<
uummm... i don't have much to share today.. just wanna post something since i have nothing to do.. duhh.. it's so boring during this "forever" holiday..


Jowi ;)

Monday, April 4, 2011


What is the meaning of life? For me, life is unfair..

What's so fair about life when u are always the one to be blamed eventough u didn't do anything..
That's my life.. They are unfair.. I don't know what makes them love him more than me..
I don't know what makes them care about him more than they care about me.. I didn't ask to be born earlier..



Sunday, April 3, 2011

tick tock

Time is ticking, faster than we can imagine.. in 2 weeks, we'll have national exam..
no.. it's not the exam that i worry about.. it's about me and people around me...
i believe it'll be different between us..
i'll miss my friends and the laughter that they have given me..
i hate to say goodbye, i hate farewell.. i don't want to lose them..
i'm sorry for being so moody lately, i don't know why, i hate myself for being like this.. :(

this feeling is so random.. don't know why i am feeling this way.. i don't even understand what my heart wants..
worry.. i think i'm worrying too much about everything.. EVERYTHING... everything in my life.. what my future would be, what would us be..

I've been through some hard times that people couldn't imagine.. and actually i've buried it deep down inside my memories.. how i wish i could erase it and pretend it never happened.. i don't blame anybody for putting me in this condition..  and i want to get out of this.. i don't know how.. I keep praying, but it seems like my prayer hasn't been answered..

okay, i'll stop writing here.. i don't want to think of all this crap anymore.. it's enough for today.. if i don't stop, i think my tears will fall.. :(



my very first post

Helloo, guyss.. it's my first time blogging..and this is my very first post.. XD
u'll find some of my stories here and it's just some secrets in my heart that i'll share.. :)


Jowi :)