Wednesday, September 28, 2011


heyyaaa, readersss..... time flies, huh?
It's Wednesday... tomorrow is Thursday... almost payday.. *dance*
okay, ignore that part... it's not important.. haha..
eerrrgghhh.. seems like my salary is really not enough for me...
why do i  love to spent my money so much?? huhuhu..
yes, can't control myself...
blame myself for that.. :(

i have a lot lot lot of desiressss...
i want to dye my hair.... *this is super serious*
i want to buy clothes, shoes, accessories...
i want to eat japanese food..
i want to buy a lot of novels..
i want to shop as much as i can..
i want this i want that..
oh geezz.. if i list those all, maybe 5 pages won't be enough..

but still, my biggest desire is U, my loved one...
miss u badly.. don't u miss me? :')

okay, gotta runn... will be updated again tomorrow.. :)



Friday, September 23, 2011

long distance

There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do
To get you off my mind

All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm coming home soon,coming home soon

~Long Distance - Bruno Mars~

it's like killing myself for posting something like this at this risky hour..

officially missing u.. :)


Jowi :) 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Life has been so hard lately

yes.. life has been so hard lately.. i'm dying inside.. everything have been so hard..
it's even harder when u have to keep it for yourself..
it hurts so bad.. being unwanted..
u told me that it's tired to talk to me..
no need then..
u'll never understand me..
neither will i understand u..

i want to escape.. anywhere but here..
from this place called "home"

maybe ppl will say that i'm thinking too much..
maybe ppl will say that i'm over-reacting..
it's just too complicated..

i try to be grateful..
i try to make myself happy..
it didn't work..

i'm just too tired of everything..
maybe silence is the best way out of all..
i give up..



Monday, September 12, 2011


"I love you," he whispered, and that was the moment he knew what he was going to do. 
When you loved someone, you put their needs before your own. 
No matter how inconceivable those needs were; 
no matter how fucked up; 
no matter how much it made you feel like you were ripping yourself into pieces.

~Jodi Picoult 

for someone out there, just want to tell u that i love u so much.. :)


Jowi <3

Saturday, September 10, 2011

swing swing

i am really proud yet confuse of myself..
i have the most wonderful swinging mood..
it will change only because of some stupid songs and it can make me cry suddenly..
it's crazy, isn't it...?
but.....nobody will notice this for i am really good at covering my pain... :)


Moody Jowi

Thanks God I'm Still Alive

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.............. tireddd!!!!
since 3 pm, i've been sitting down at kitchen, washing the dishes, and then i have to clean about 200 piecesss of prawn *made me smelled like seafood* and then i had to wash another dishes again..
i took a bath, and i washed two pieces of my shirt and i had my dinner, washed dishes *again*
and then i helped my mom to prepare for tomorrow things... and washed dishes *again and again*
how many times did i mention "washed dishes" ??
i pity my hands... it's not smooth anymore.. huhuhuhuhu.. hiks hiks hiks..
and now my waist is aching badly..
i really need a maid.. *help*

oh yes, and now i'm trained to wash dishes, wash clothes, iron clothes, sweep the floor, mop the floor... *i should be thankful eh*

haaa!!!!!!! monday i will start my college and i don't know how to face it.. not yet ready...
i'm not yet ready for the tiredness..
i will wake up at 6.15, take a bath, have breakfast, go at 6.45, arrive at 7.30, teach from 8 to 10 and then teach from 10.45 to 12.15, have lunch, make lesson plans, teach from 2.15 to 3.45, take care for the children until 4.15, go to college at 4.30, arrive there maybe at 5, rush to the announcement board to check the classes and the schedules, start class at 5.15 until 6.45, skip dinner *i believe i will not have appetite to eat*, second class at 7.15 until 8.45, go home, take a bath, sleep, die, bye..

can i really just get married and skip all these things?? *desperate thinking* *sigh*
tired... tired.. tired...
but thanks God i'm still alive even i have to face all of those thingss.. maybe this is what we called life..


Jowi :|


Wednesday, September 7, 2011


ha!! am i too kind or i'm not strict enough? *i think i'm not strict at all*
yes, i spoil my students.. seldom scold them.. haha...
maybe that's why they're not afraid with me at all..
i don't know why, today, i had this feeling.. strange feeling.. but it's positive feeling..*makes me happy*
i don't know how to express it.. the feeling when u're loved by your students.. that feeling.. XD
i love children.. *so much* but only the cute and good one.. haha..
is this really my destiny?? to become a teacher?? not sure yet.. hhmmm..
let's just see what will happen in...mmm... 5 years later maybe... still wondering what i will be in the future..
it's still a long journey to go... ;)


Jowi :D

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Rest Of My Life

i love this song very much..
just wish someday, someone, would sing this song for me.. :)

Everyday I wake up next to an angel
More beautiful than words could say
They said it wouldn't work but what did they know?
Cause years passed and we're still here today
Never in my dreams did I think that this would happen to me

As I stand here before my woman
I can't fight back the tears in my eyes
Oh how could I be so lucky
I must've done something right
And I promise to love her for the rest of my life

Seems like yesterday when she first said hello
Funny how time flies when you're in love
It took us a lifetime to find each other
It was worth the wait cause I finally found the one
Never in my dreams did I think that this would happen to me

As I stand here before my woman
I can't fight back the tears in my eyes
Oh how could I be so lucky
I must've done something right
And I promise to love her for the rest of my life

Bruno Mars - Rest Of My Life

What life is this?

heyyaaa, readers...
this is my second day of working after a spentfulllll week holiday.. *is it any meaning for spentful?*
but i really mean it.. SPENTFUL.. i don't want to count how much i have spent for this bloody holiday...
i went to brastagi with Eric CS, for his farewell.. okay, it's the most "galau" day.. seeing couples everywhere..
oh Jesus Christ...i never know having a LDR would be super killing like this.. *sigh*
and then, i went to karaoke and hung out at Matador with Eric also.. that day, i cried a lot.. because Eric would leave the next day... when they recalled memories and everything, i just couldn't stand it.. pluss.. Eric's face when he cried, nobody would stand that..
at first, i didn't plan to cry, but Eric started it first.. since we were inside Matador, so i cried a little bit *without any stupid sound* haha
but... when we were going home, and we were outside of that Matador, he started to cry and hug all of us..
that's the moment when i burst my tears out loud.. so sad.. huks..
so, the next day, early in the morning, we sent Eric to airport.. i didn't plan to cry.. but, the fact is... i cried... again.. haha..
and in the afternoon, i got a sudden BBM from virgo.. he asked me out with Angel and HJ.. yes.. which meanss.. spent money.. again.. a lot..
the next day after that, i went to watch fast 5 with Suryady and Randy.. had a great day though...
even i couldn't imagine how much money have i spent.. -____-
actually i plan to save more money... i have a lot of things i want to buy.. but cannot.. huhuhu..

yesterday, i cried *again*
i don't know why, but every Monday i have super terrible mood..
seems like every Monday i cry.. -_____-
not every Monday, even everyday i have bad mood..
and recently i cried a lot..
yess, i know, stupid and pity..
but that can make me feel better..

i'm so sensitive lately..
i hate myself for being like this..
do u know how it feels when u're super tired after doing most of the household chores and yet u're being scolded all the time..
what do they want actually?
i try to be a good child for them.. but seems like everything i have done is not good enough..
my feeling hurt the most when they scolded me about Ethan..
they say they would give my lovely Ethan to somebody else..
i really can't stand those words..
i couldn't imagine what will happen to me if i lose Ethan..
he's the cutest thing on earth i've ever had..
i just love him very much..

oh yes.. for another him..
i love u so much and i desperately missing u..
good luck for your quiz..
seems like u're super busy, ha? :p
i watched a movie last night and i found this quote which is so me.. XD
"Life without him will be unimaginable" *this is so trueeeeeeeeee!!!*

okay, i think it's enough for my long long unimportant post..
will update later if i have time.. ;)


Jowi :D :) :| :( :'(