passion

it's almost CNY yet i can't find my passion to celebrate it.idk why.. maybe it's just because u're not here..
and i feel like i don't have enough preparation to welcome this CNY..
yes, i'm excited about the red pocket thing, but i just don't feel like celebrating it..
i haven't bought my new pyjamas, new lingerie, new bag and i don't really like my new clothes.. to be honest.. *sigh*
yah, well.. just feel so so this year.. still wondering where has my passion gone..

anw, i bought sbucks tumbler just now.. felt so excited when i bought it.. it cost me 80k only plus it's so nice..
but that excited feeling didn't last long.. i get scolded for buying that tumbler.. they said that i've wasted money for something useless..
can't i buy something with money that i've earned?
can't i make myself happy with my own effort?
do i have a choice?
why it's like nobody supporting me in anything that i do?
it sucks to live like this..
i know life is never fair, but at least could it be fair for me just once?
i've done my best, but seems like my best is not best enough for everyone..
can't i have my personal space so i can cry and scream out loud?
oh geez.. i should stop typing this or else i will keep whining and thousand words won't be enough to describe it..

Regards,


Jowi